Matriarch

Psycho AKA Mr Ego takes a backseat for the time being.  All he has done lately is get himself in the paper once more, courtesy of a bus breaking down near his shop.  Yes, our local newspaper will report on buses breaking down.  There was an article about a man being cross about head lice once.  In fact, that was front page news!  I love this place. 

Anyway, I’m wanting to talk about Matriarch, The Ex’s mother.  She is undoubtedly from a different time, and lacks tact and any kind of social decency in my opinion.  Maybe I’m just easily offended and completely intolerant.  But there we go.  Tolerance is certainly something that’s passed Matriarch by.  Her son (my ex) is diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome (I’m not actually convinced that he has it, and I have done extensive reading up on the subject.  More than Matriarch I’d wager) and she writes him off as a no hoper.  Any support?  No.  But she made sure she got his benefits.  Hmm.  Caring.  And why is he so useless I wonder?  Seriously, if he has Asperger’s, so does his brother Psycho, and Matriarch.  The three of them seem to have the exact same social deficiency.  In my admittedly uneducated opinion.  But he was diagnosed very young, and told it was only a very mild case.  Hmm.

Anyway, Matriarch has annoyed me this week by her choice of Easter present for The Toddler.  A sweet jar, so I can buy loads of sweets and chocolate with which to bribe her, and keep it all in one place, that The Toddler shall be well aware of.  Well, I try to limit what sweet things The Toddler gets on account of not wanting her to become overweight, or for her her teeth to drop out (for the wrong reasons).  Her cousin had most of her baby teeth pulled out by the dentist and I’m not buying whatever random thing it was The Ex said about that.  I’d seen the teeth for myself.  At the age of three, they were black.  And The Ex’s teeth aren’t pretty.  None of them have pretty teeth to be honest.  Not big on the brushing you see.  Eugh.  Anyway, getting back on track, another point is that I try not to bribe her.  I’m no angle, and confess that on occasion I have.  Never with chocolate or sweets mind.  I use sticker charts.  And I prefer to call it rewarding good behaviour.  I may also take advantage of prearranged visits to my parents’ house.  Hmm.  I have no need for a sweet jar.  The Toddler has no need for a sweet jar.  Is it really too difficult to actually ask what we might want/find useful?  I thought getting presents was about giving to others?  Ok, as a kid it’s about getting.  But The Family really have no idea.  And it all stems from Matriarch.  This sort of thing is a result of nurture not nature.  Hopeless.  And at least it’s a while before Easter.  Who knows what may happen in the meantime.

But seriously, woe betide anyone who does not think like Matriarch.  Of course, it’s the rest of us who are at fault.  She’s blameless.  Apparently.  Oh yes, dare raise your voice to her and the rest of The Family will come down on you like a ton of bricks.  Who cares what the row was about.  You do not upset Matriarch!

Changes

I am slowly adjusting to the new schedule.  Up at the crack of dawn to get The Toddler ready for nursery, and then doing a bit of shopping and/or cleaning until time to pick her up.  Then it’s home again to cook her tea and get her ready for bed.  I am also adjusting to The Toddler’s new relationship with our postman.  I am surprised it has taken her this long to cotton on to his existence actually, bearing in mind I got to know all of our neighbours through her waving manically at them all through the living room window.  Anyhow, as our schedule now crosses his, she has started her manic waving at him too.  And of course, she yells to him down the street at the top of her voice “Hiya Postman!”  Today’s was, “Where are you going Postman?  Come back!”  Only slightly embarrassing, but I am sure I shall get her back in due course.  Of course, it is my excuse to give him a smile and a “hello”.  He is very attractive.  Of course, I would be less mortified if he was not so.  But I am beginning to wonder if I was wrong and the ex was right.  Maybe The Toddler is not such a man repellent after all.  Hmm.  Worth investigating methinks.

But that is all the change we have had so far this year.  Psycho on the other hand has still been unable to find a job.  Poor man.  Yes, the recession is more evident than ever for him.  Shame he missed it before really.  he might have been better prepared.  He is of course still adamant that the wool shop is doing fine.  Hmm.  Not so convinced.  Oh, and the great laugh is that the ex and his younger brother are a bit pissed off with Psycho about lying to them about the wool shop’s success, bearing in mind that their trust fund paid for it.  I don’t know.  But given Psycho’s past experiences with running shops, I don’t actually have any sympathy for them.  His last shop went bust by the way.  So naturally his brothers give him thousands of pounds of theirs to help him open a new shop.  And now they’re surprised it’s going pear shaped?  Hmm.  Like I said, as mean as it is, no sympathy.  We are meant to learn from mistakes after all aren’t we?  No matter how pushy older siblings may be?  I may have forgotten to mention that the ex ended up with loads of debt courtesy of the first shop going bust.  Psycho’s credit rating was so low, he couldn’t get a loan to get the first shop started, so the ex did.  And now history repeats itself.

I am hoping the madness picks up a bit before summer.  Aside from The Family, things have been remarkably normal around here lately.  Scary.  But summer does tend to attract the nutters.  Sane people do not holiday here evidently.  Hmm.

Psycho Strikes Again

Well, I think Psycho must be about to win uncle of the year award or something.  He got the most amazing presents for his niece and nephew.  Of course the toddler got nothing.  After the nothing she received for her birthday I wasn’t really surprised.  Anyway, for his niece he got … a scarf … that had been displayed in his wool shop window for months … a free sample from some wool company!  For his nephew he got … a woolly jumper … that had been displayed in his wool shop window for months … a free sample from some wool company!  Stingy bastard!  Hah.  He’ll be loved.  Of course the toddler didn’t really miss out at all.  And I suppose that I should actually feel flattered that I have instilled such strong feelings in him, by doing absolutely nothing at all!  I barely know him, and always tried to be polite (I’m one of these sickening people who tries to be nice to everyone unless given good reason not to be nice), and he responds by despising me so.  Wow.  Well done me :)

I just need to try and instil strong feelings of a different kind in someone who’s actually a decent chap now.  Maybe complete adoration?  Love?  If I can do complete dislike, then surely I can do love?  Project for this year, now that the toddler’s at nursery.  Especially now the ex knows that I’ve moved out of the parents’ house.  Hmm.  He’s already threatened to pop round.  Now I don’t mind him seeing the toddler once a week, but I’m not willing to do evenings as well.  I like my me time.  Hmm.  And we’ve nothing in common etc. etc.  There were good reasons for us splitting up.  Aside from the borderline violence and the emotional abuse etc. etc.  It’s not like we’re still really close friends or anything.  We really don’t have enough in common to be close.  Hmm.  Not that we ever were really.  We may have been friends before we got together, but we certainly weren’t really close.  I’m not sure I’ve ever been really close to anyone, I tend to be a bit too guarded to let anyone in enough.  And sure, I may actually have let him in a bit when we were together, but my experiences with him have only served to make me even more careful in that respect.  So careful, I’ve started this blog.  But I need to vent somewhere, and my diary only has limited space.  Hmm.

Anyway, this post was supposed to be about the great amusement that is Psycho.  I can only hope that he continues to be a complete idiot in the coming year.  If I have to continue having anything to do with The Family, the least Psycho can do is keep me amused by being a complete moron.  I like to think of it as compensation.  If he has to maintain such strong feelings of outrage and hatred towards me, then he can provide me with endless mirth.  Fair trade I think.

I was also somewhat amused by the news that as his wool shop is doing so well, he now actually has to go and look for another job.  After denouncing the recession, claiming that there wasn’t one (not like there’s any evidence for it.  People being laid off?  Where?  Bankruptcy?  You’re having a laugh!), he’s finding it just a wee bit difficult.  Hmm.  Can’t say I’m surprised.  This is a small town, and he is a complete nutter.  He also takes arrogance to new heights.  A charming fellow.  Wonder how Doormat, AKA his girlfriend, will cope in the shop on her own?  Probably have a ball without him breathing down her neck.  I would assume anyway.  Poor creature.  She did of course try to leave him, but stays with him now because she’d be deported otherwise.  Though if I had to choose between Vancouver and freedom, or this dump and Psycho, I know which I’d choose.  Of course, my info all comes from the ex, and he may not be the most reliable source.  Of course, he’d have me believe that Doormat is the root of all evil, and that Psycho is the poor put upon fool.  Yes, us women, man beaters the lot of us.  And of course, self defence is not allowed.  Hmm.  Needless to say, I did come to my senses there, and did a runner.  No longer a doormat myself.

On a super positive positive note though, The Toddler started nursery this week, and she loves it.  Three days in and she’s perfectly happy to be left there.  I meanwhile miss her like hell.  But I shall adapt.  And the three toddler free hours shall be very useful.  Shopping and cleaning shall be so much simpler.  Yippee.