Cowboy

Walking The Child home from nursery yesterday, we came across a wannabe cowboy. Now he might not actually have wanted to be a cowboy, but he was certainly attempting a swagger of some kind. It didn’t look like a natural walk anyway. And he was wearing black suede boots that his jeans did not fit over too well. They were a bit tight too. He also had shoulder length hair tucked behind his ears, and a smart/casual jacket thing. He didn't have the hat though, which was a real shame. It just amused me slightly on an otherwise stressy trip home. The Child continues to go through her overly stubborn/overly bossy phase. If you don’t do as she wishes, you must be prepared to pay the price. Hmm. Yes, Wannabe Cowboy appeared at just the right moment.

Maybe it’s something about walking with The Child at the moment though, because on the way to nursery a couple of days ago we came across Naked Man. He was just casually shutting his living room window as we passed. It took me a moment to realise he was completely starkers as well. Fortunately there was a strategically placed armchair that hid the area that could have caused awkward questions from The Child. Though she frequently delights in telling me that boys and girls are different, in a very knowing voice. Bless her.

Oh, and Matriarch is moving into a little flat of her own as she cannot cope with stairs anymore. There was a choice between her own flat or a stair lift. She opted for the flat. Maybe now The Ex will be permitted to move back home so that he can sort his finances and move into more affordable (and suitable) accommodation? Might be hoping for too much there of course.

It’s Just a Phase (I Hope)

When The Child was a baby, phases such as the one she’s currently going through were always put down to the fact that she must be teething.  As a tooth would emerge a short while later, I always assumed I was right.  Then she got all her baby teeth, and from then on the excuse has been that she’s coming down with something.  Now I have to accept the fact that it isn’t that simple.  Sure she might be feeling a bit under the weather at the moment, but this phase has lasted a bit longer than a cold.  Hmm, one cold after another?  Or just a crotchety four and a half year old testing the boundaries once more?  Well, I’m putting my foot down.  At least I have identified part of the problem.  The dreaded TV.  Now how to solve that part of the problem?  I have started to ban the TV until The Child gest dressed.  Now getting her dressed in a morning isn’t such a headache.  What to do about bedtime?  Well, I resorted to turning it off at eight o clock no matter what, and trying to ignore the tantrums that caused.  It is hard on the ears though.  And I really hate upsetting The Child.  I am going to be such a pushover later on I can just feel it.  Mind you, I can be just as stubborn as her, if not more so.  And I will win this battle.  I will.  All I have left to say of this matter is, thank god for remote controls, and shelves that The Child cannot reach.  I do wonder if I am being overly strict though.  Hmm.  But I can think of no other way around it.

Alpaca for Hire

The alpacas from the same farm as the heroic donkey are apparently for hire.  Why would anyone want to hire an alpaca?  I certainly can’t think why anyone in my town would want to hire an alpaca anyway.  I wonder if they’re hiring out the donkey as well.  Hmm.

How Much Longer?

I’m wondering how much longer it will take The Ex to learn.  The weekend went exactly as I expected it to.  It was The Ex’s birthday, and as it was his 30th (a really scary thought given he acts just like The Child a lot of the time) he was expecting The Family to actually make an effort.  Hmm.  I’m not so good at the sympathy I’ll confess, but surely he should have learned by now that they really don’t give a damn about him?  Or The Child for that matter.  There was no cake as he had promised The Child that there would be.  Not such a problem you would think unless you’re a four year old who believes a birthday isn’t a birthday without cake.  The tantrum came before we actually chased up The Family as to their location, which was somewhat fun given that The Ex’s phone is broken.  They know it as well.

Okay, I should start at the beginning really.  As far as I was aware, The Ex had requested that The Family either join himself, The Child, and me at his flat if the weather was bad, and if not we’d all go to the park.  It was warm and sunny when I got up so the park it was I assumed.  Now, due to a phase The Child is currently going through (it had better just be a phase anyway, grrr) we weren’t quite ready in time.  The Ex’s sister J called him to let him know that The Family were all in town, but as we weren’t there yet he asked her to call him back in half an hour as his phone was broken so he couldn’t phone her.  As I’m such a bitch I refuse to chase them up with my phone at all.  Besides it wasn’t my birthday or my family so not my responsibility.  Plus I’m actually always relieved when they don’t show, as well as offended on The Child’s behalf.  Bizarre mix of feelings I know, but I’m past trying to understand myself.  Anyway, did they phone back?  I’d have been surprised if they had, and true to form they just went shopping and to a cafe instead.  We found this out because The Ex called them from a payphone, an hour after they’d first spoken and after The Child’s cake related tantrum.

So, off we tootled to the cafe they’d decided to go to.  We didn’t stay long thank god, but The Child nearly started up again, and was only mollified when Matriarch decided to buy her an ice cream.  Oh, and The Child and Matriarch were the only two to even give The Ex his birthday presents.  Charming, and oh so predictable.  What I hadn’t predicted though was being expected to provide a free babysitting service.  There was an interesting moment when J went off in a strop because we weren’t just going to go back to The Ex’s flat taking her son, M, with us.  She’s almost forty herself, so there’s really no hope for any of them then I guess.  So sad.

Anyway, this time The Ex is adamant that The Family, Matriarch included, shall only see The Child if they chase us up.  He promises no more chasing them.  I wish I could believe him, but sadly I don’t.  And so this will go on, and on, and on etc.  Joyous. 

Oh well, sometimes their escapades can be somewhat amusing.  I do think I’ve reached the point when I’m past caring though.  The Ex wants sympathy, and all I can say is “What did you expect?”

There was a moment of excitement though when I discovered that our local newspaper doesn’t realise the difference between a bomb and a grenade.  “Bomb found on beach” was the headline.  In fact it was a grenade from World War II.  The beach did have to be evacuated though.  However, I was disappointed to find that it wasn’t our beach.  It would have been quite funny if our beach had had to have been evacuated over the bank holiday weekend.  But I am a miserable bitch, who loathes the hoards of tourists.  Grrr.