Nature or Nurture? Eek!

Oh please let all the bad bits of The Family be a result of nurture and not nature.  I would do/give anything for The Child to be nothing like them.  Anything. 

Now I wish I could feel sorry for poor Matriarch who is possibly going to be finished off by diabetes, but am I wrong in thinking that some of her troubles could have been brought on by her continued consumption of sugar and cakes?  I admit I could be wrong on this.  It is type 2 that she’s got, and I thought it was supposed to be diet controlled.  But never mind. 

Anyway, I wasn’t planning on talking about Matriarch’s poor health.  This flat she’s been getting ready to move into was broken into last week.  Not much was taken, just a few items out of her freezer, her cutlery, and a few of her DVDs (though not all).  They also took a bag of wool, and The Ex’s oldest brother’s paint brush and paint.  A random selection of stuff then.  Oh, they also took the net curtains.  It seems the culprits were a gang of errant youths from the same council estate.  Oh, and the ringleader has been in and out of care since she was very little.  The Family know who this ring leader is, for she is the daughter of The Ex’s eldest brother’s ex girlfriend.  Hmm.  Oh, and if the stolen goods aren’t all returned, Matriarch is apparently determined to sue them.  Now perhaps I’m just being cynical, but I don’t think that would be a good idea.  Only four of the kids are actually going to be going to prison at all.  And that isn’t guaranteed.  I also know that aggravating kids like that probably isn’t a good idea.  Yes, what they did wasn’t nice (to put it mildly), and yes of course Matriarch is now scared to move.  My guess is that was part of what these kids were after, scaring an old lady.  Suing them will solve nothing surely.  And to be blunt, it’s not as though they took anything of value.  If it were me, I would be wanting to forget the whole thing as soon as possible, and not do anything to provoke further such episodes.  But what do I know.  According to Matriarch, probably nothing.  But I do know a bit about how such kids think and behave.  They aren’t scared of the police, or prison.  Suing them will only serve to provoke them.  It won’t scare them off.  Unless they actually have a brain between them, but that I doubt.  I could be wrong, but I suspect they’re still having a good old laugh about it, despite having been caught.  Bless the chavvy cherubs.

On a lighter note, Psycho strikes again.  He actually relented, and forked out for a van to move their dad and his belongings up from London.  He’d initially insisted that whatever wouldn’t fit in a car would be left behind.  Nice of him yes?  Anyway, they got back this morning, while The Ex was at work.  Psycho phoned him as soon as they got back demanding to know where The Ex was, as he wasn’t waiting at their flats to help unload.  The Ex replied that he was at work.  This only enraged Psycho, because without The Ex’s help the dreaded wool shop would remain shut for longer than he wished.  I would love to know how much business a wool shop in a town like this looses by not opening until half nine in the morning.  I wouldn’t imagine it would lose that much, but what would I know?  Anyway, Psycho lost it.  He’s such a charming person.  And I might add that The Ex can’t actually do that much in the way of carting furniture and boxes up multiple flights of stair at the moment due to a broken hand.  But never mind, it all adds to Psycho’s charm.  He can’t bear to put himself out for anyone else.  Especially not when he has brothers who can do everything for him.  I just wish The Ex would tell him where to go, and not then go running back for more.  Then again, if that did happen, I wouldn’t get any more of these depressing yet amusing tales.  Oh well.  I just really hope this insanity is not hereditary.  I really do.

The Good Old Days

The Child recently acquired the old My Little Ponies film from my overly generous younger sister.  Naturally The Child loves it.  The sad thing is that I used to love it too.  Oh the shame.  The Care Bears DVD had the same effect on me as well.  How I cringe to think that I loved Care Bears so much.  They are so nauseating.  The only thing that makes that remotely alright was the fact that Grumpy Bear was my favourite.  Of course, I am kind of glad that The Child is getting enjoyment from these things.  And I guess it is kind of nice that she likes things that I used to like.  But now I know what torture my sisters and me put our parents through. 

We liked some slightly less nauseating things too though back when we were kids.  Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were a favourite of mine for a while.  Though when I saw the original film again recently I was once again cringing over how rubbish it was.  And I remember my Werebear comics. 

Sometimes I wish I was a kid again.  Life was so much simpler back then.  Of course, I’m not so sure I’d like to be a kid now.  Is it just me or is the gender stereotyping more obvious these days?  There’s blue and pink everything, but not so much in more neutral colours.  Back when The Child was a baby, the only alternative colour in clothing to pink and blue was white or beige.  When I was a kid I remember making a point of the fact that I hated pink.  Blue was my favourite colour.  I was determined not to be girly.  Of course, I had older sister influence as well, and she wasn’t overly girly either. 

Well, The Child is free to like what she will.  I don’t try to mould her.  Not deliberately anyway.  And despite the My Little Ponies, Care Bears, and princesses, she does enjoy a good bit of boisterous demolition.  She likes heavy metal as well.  For now.

Family and School

My family consists in my mind of me, my mum and dad, and my two sisters.  Of course, I then add my one surviving grandparent, various aunts and uncles and cousins.  The Child will say herself, me and my parents.  She’ll then add The Ex, and my sisters, and her two cousins.  She’ll then add The Ex’s dad, now that she’s met him.  If she’s reminded she’ll mention Matriarch (The Ex’s mum), and her aunt and uncles on her dad’s side.

Now, meeting The Ex’s dad was an interesting experience.  It was the first time I had ever met him properly in the eight years I have known The Ex.  What struck me first was that he actually talked to The Child.  He then played games with The Child, and she actually considers him fun.  Now considering how everyone else in The Family (The Ex’s family that is) treats The Child I was simply amazed.  Someone in The Ex’s family (besides her two cousins) actually giving a toss about her?  Wow.  But of course, I must remember that he left Matriarch when The Ex was only two, and his younger brother was a baby.  It was Psycho who tracked him down some years ago, and since they have been trying to persuade him to move up here.  The Ex’s dad has finally agreed to move up here.  Baring in mind he’s been so resistant to the idea until now, I’m wondering why.  But then again, I’m a nosy cow.

Anyway, it’s nice that at least one adult member of The Family besides The Ex actually cares.  Of course it makes my life a bit more pleasant and easy that the others don’t, but that isn’t the point.  Hmm.  I suppose I’m just a bit mad.  I should be thrilled that they can’t be bothered with her really.  Oh well, Matriarch’s said she’ll buy The Child a school jumper.  I guess that’s as much as can be expected.  Oh, and she’ll probably want a photo of The Child in her school uniform.  Will she be bothered about asking The Child what school was like?  Well I guess she doesn’t think talking to children is important.  Just like teaching them how to respect others isn’t important.  And do kids really need affection of any kind?  Hmm.  She truly is the world’s most charming woman.  Not that I’m perfect mind, but I am capable of caring about people other than myself.  And if it came to throwing myself under a bus to protect The Child?  I wouldn’t even have to think about it.  It would be purely instinctive on my part.  Would Matriarch do that for any of her kids or grandkids?  Well, I’d be very surprised. 

This past week has given cause for me to feel a bit conflicted for reasons other than family.  The Child had her first visit to school.  It was very strange taking her there, and I confess I did feel a bit teary.  She's growing so fast, and I can’t believe how quickly the past four and a half years have gone.  She’s not my baby anymore, that’s for sure.  She has a best friend now too, and fortunately they are going to be in the same school class.  Such fortune is rare in my family I think.  Of course, once they get to school they could fall out or something, but when they start there will be some reassurance there I think.  Not that The Child needs it.  She’s so excited.  She just can’t wait to grow up.  And I suppose a part of me can’t wait for her to grow up either if I’m honest.  Still, I’m finding the whole thing terribly disconcerting.  I guess I just don’t like change.  I’ll adjust quickly though.  Like The Child, I always do.