So, this post might come across as a little preachy or something, but I do feel it’s somewhat important that I say my piece on this. Being a single parent I follow Gingerbread. I’m a member of their site and follow them on Facebook etc. So when they posted this:
http://gingerbread.org.uk/content.aspx?CategoryID=954
I felt I had to respond. And for those who want to read what the fuss is about, you can do that here:
So, let me describe my “lifestyle”. It consists mainly of being broke and hunting for a job. I have been a single mum since The Ex and I split up about a month after our daughter’s first birthday. It was not a lifestyle choice. I left him because he was emotionally abusive and I was scared about the implications for our daughter of being brought up in an environment like that. I didn’t leave him for me. I left him for her. And to be honest, aside from the being broke thing it’s worked out pretty well for us. The Ex and I no longer hate each other and are capable of doing things with our daughter together as a family. Would we be doing that if we were still together? Probably not. And when I say we do things as a family, we can only afford to do things because I’m thrifty, and he works. He actually spends an awful lot on her. Probably more than I do. If we’re talking about treats anyway. I spend on the boring things. Food, rent, heating bills, clothes etc. So yeah, it’s an amazing lifestyle we’re living.
I made the decision to stay at home with my daughter instead of getting a job when I was still with The Ex. Ok, so perhaps I should have started looking for work as soon as I left him. Lots of you will feel that way. Especially as we’re living off your taxes. Well, let me just say this, ever since she started school I’ve been looking for work. The fact that I have as yet been unable to find a job is beyond depressing. I am trying. Unfortunately as a single mum I am restricted by available childcare. I am not flexible enough for many employers. Other jobs just don’t offer enough hours. I could work twelve hours a week as cleaner, but I’d still be relying on benefits. And I wouldn’t get the tax credits, so would be having to fork out for childcare costs without any help which would make us poorer than we are now (so please don’t hate me for not wanting to take that option. The Jobcentre are actually on my side there. Hell, they advised me not to do that.) And oh yeah, given I have a degree, some will pull out the “over qualified for the job” card. Joy. I totally went to uni so I could sit on my arse living off other people’s taxes. But once I get a job (note the optimism there) I shall be paying taxes. And I won’t be moaning about other single mums making use of the benefit system. Most single parents aren’t in their situation because they want a government funded lifestyle. Some are there because their partners left them, or died. Some left abusive relationships. And yeah, there may be some who wanted the council house etc., but despite those few, I don’t think the rest of us deserve to be tarred with the same brush.
If childcare wasn’t so expensive, and was more flexible, I might be working right now. Only as a waitress or something mind, but I might be employed. I wish there was more support and understanding for people like me. I don’t want to be where I am now. Unfortunately, I don’t see much of a way out right now. A bit defeatist perhaps, but I soldier on anyway.
