Not Again!

The Child had finally overcome her fear of our hill. She had finally started walking/running down it all be herself. Today she took one look at the ice rink, freaked, and refused to move even slightly without gripping my hand so tight the blood failed to reach my fingers. I managed to stay upright though, so it wasn't so bad. So did she as it happened. And once we got to the bottom of the hill, it wasn't so icy so not too bad. Except for the fact that The Child had her hill phobia back. Grrr. Shame we live in a place full of hills really. Never mind.

I was thrilled by the big pile of pictures she brought home for me though. And she told me they were all mine. Of course when the weekend comes, she'll want to give them all to my parents as usual. She's so charming.

Oh, and as it's been a little while since I gave a Psycho update, he's apparently going on some murder mystery thing dressed as a member of the Gestapo. So he won't be offending anyone there then. Unless it's a Nazi themed thing of course. Mind you, you never know when it comes to this place. Full of small minded people here, which is why I love it so much. Joyous. Oh, and the Canadian's being deported. She forgot to renew her visa you see. She'll be back though. I assume anyway. In the meantime, Psycho will have to manage in his little wool shop all his own! It shall be so difficult for him as the place is always heaving. Remember, it's doing so well that he had to take on another job, as a chef/kitchen assistant in some old people's home. Hmm. I wonder what spin I could put on stay at home mum/single mother. Maybe I could call myself a Primary Care Provider? Or does that tread on the toes of genuine child carer people? Oh well.

Now I just need to figure out how to persuade The Child to go to bed when she's tired. She's sleeping on that living room floor again. It can't be comfy or warm, but will she move? Nope. Kids. Grrr.

Sliding Down Hills, the Joy

Aside from multiple cancellations, probably because of the weather, the sailor party was fun.  Admittedly it’s been a while since I went out and had a few drinks.  It’s been even longer since I actually danced.  As long as I don’t think too hard about the dancing my levels of mortification are amazingly low.  Now I am guilty of dancing a lot when by myself or with my daughter, but as she thinks I’m wonderful no matter what I do, there’s no pressure there to impress.  But as I said, last night actually went rather well, from my point of view anyway. 

Of course I had less fun getting home in this ice.  Actually getting out was fun as well.  Town wasn’t too bad though.  It was less of an ice rink than my hill let’s put it that way.  The taxi dropped me off at the top of my hill.  Not too bad I thought, as I live more or less at the top.  However, I kind of slid all the way down to my house.  First I managed to skid into the grit box, where I managed to fish out my door keys.  I then managed to slide all the way to my gate, attempting to grasp at walls and plants as I passed in order to slow my descent.  I managed to grab my gate before I skated past my house, and then I was in.  Shame it wasn’t much warmer inside when I got in.  Grrr.  Freezing today too.  We’ve had the heating on for hours and I’m still wrapped in numerous layers, shivering away.  The Child has found the perfect solution.  She’s fast asleep on the living room floor.  I tried to wake her, but gave up.

But as a final note, I was quite impressed by the bravery of the smurfs we saw out in town last night.  I assume they were smurfs anyway.  Blue body paint, and less coverage than most of us.  I was a complete wimp though and took my coat.  My scarf and gloves were crammed into my bag too.  What can I say?  I’m in my late twenties.  I’m getting old.  And I don’t care how drunk he was, I greatly appreciated it when at last some guy decided to try and nick my sailor hat. 

Anyway, at least I made it home in one piece.  And my head wasn’t too sore this morning.  Good old vodka.

Snow and Sailors

The Child was very excited by the snow today, though admittedly it was just sleet.  She didn’t like the cold though poor thing, though despite this she refused a hat and scarf on the way to nursery.  She gave in on the way home though.  Lesson learned I hope.  And I also hope we don’t get any ice on the scale of last winter.  Sliding down our hill will not be fun.  And The Child has only just got over her fear of hills.  It started after the very icy day in February when she slipped over about five times on our street alone.  Not fun.

I’m not entirely sure how I feel about this coming Saturday either.  The Child has her first kids party to attend, so with a bit of luck I’ll have a couple of hours all to myself.  Of course, I should be using that time to get myself sorted for the party I shall be attending Saturday night.  A friend is having a sailor themed fancy dress night out for her birthday.  I haven’t done fancy dress since I was twenty-two.  Coincidentally that is the age she shall be.  I guess I just feel like an old fart these days.  Single motherhood will make you feel like that at times.  As will the realisation that you’re now in your late twenties.  There I admit it.  I shall leave the mid-twenties behind me.  The grumpiness thing was always there though.  I was a grumpy kid.  I remember idolising grumpy bear from the Care Bears, and Garfield.  I was obsessed with Garfield.  But on Saturday I will don that sailor girl outfit and try to feel young and carefree.  Who knows, maybe it won’t be so bad.  And there will be plenty of others dressed as silly as me.  I might even have fun if I can learn not to be so uptight.  Fingers crossed.

But It’s Cold Now, Right?

I could be mistaken of course, but I could have sworn that summer was long behind us.  Feels like it anyway.  But it’s been pretty cold lately I’m sure.  Or maybe I’m just some freak.  Though given that I live in Britain I can be pretty certain that it’s hardly what most people would consider warm out there.  Anyhow, I bring up the subject of the cold weather because yesterday in town I saw some woman in a little denim mini skirt.  She wore no tights or leggings or anything like that.  She was totally rocking the frost bitten legs look.  Seriously.  You could see every last goose bump.  They were bright red.  Now, I’m not condemning mini skirts in winter, but wear them with something please.  Mottled legs are not a particularly good look.  And her legs didn’t even have any remnant of tan, fake or otherwise.  The bits that weren’t red were white.  And I know all about pasty legs, as mine could possibly be the pastiest pair in Britain.  That’s why I hate baring them, though I did manage to tan a little this summer.  My legs are too pasty to do the fake tan thing.  No matter how even I think I’ve spread it, I always end up with streaks.  Grrr.

Anyway, the message I want to convey is that it’s cold out there now.  Cover up.  It’s allowed.  And stuff anyone who says otherwise.  I fully intend to live in giant chunky knit jumpers for the next few months. 

It’s Been A While

Quite a lot has happened recently, on the Psycho front at least.  He’s been busy being strange.  I am of course assuming I’m normalish here.  Though I’m sure most normal people would realise that if they aren’t making enough money from their shop to employ extra staff, they probably aren’t going to be able to afford to expand the business.  Not Psycho.  They wanted The Ex to help out if they could “afford to pay” him.  This is so Psycho and The Canadian could be in their new branch.  Further evidence that expansion might not be the realistic idea right now is the fact that Psycho and The Canadian are still behind with their rent.  They’re being threatened with eviction now according to The Ex.

Psycho’s also getting increasingly paranoid it seems.  No one is to talk about any of his crusades (the parking fine thing, council tax, bailiffs etc.) in his flat or his shop because he’s convinced MI5 have bugged him.  Some idiot refusing to par parking fines is of course so in the same league as terrorism.  Hmm.  Psycho really would make an excellent case study.  He also has this bizarre belief that when you register something, you transfer ownership of that something to the person/organisation you’re registering it with.  That applies to children in his world as well.  Though I didn’t think children were mere possessions to own.  The Toddler is certainly her own person.  As far as I’m aware slavery was abolished long ago.  And wives are no longer seen as the property of their husbands either are they?  Ownership of people?  Hmm.

Psycho has been banned from driving for six months.  This is nothing to do with road tax, or parking fines either.  He was guilty of driving without insurance.  Idiot.  Neither of his two cars were insured.

The best thing though was the discovery that Psycho had been kicked out of the Conservative Club.  I remember him being so proud when he got in there.  He was bragging to me about it back when I was a student and still with The Ex.  Bearing in mind I’m left wing in my political views, I was confused as to why he would think I would be impressed by this.  I was of course unaware of many of his bizarre views at that time.  I certainly had no idea he had me down as a designer junkie.  It was his war with the local council that saw him ousted there though.  Ha ha.

Psycho has also recently demonstrated his volatile temper.  He wanted to change the locks to his flat, and called The Ex asking for help with this.  He’d had a row with The Canadian you see, and wanted to lock her out of their flat.  Her crime?  She wanted a day off.  Their shop is open every day of the week.  They’re both in there everyday, except when Psycho has to go off to work in his old people’s home kitchen.  Personally, I see no problem with her wanting a day off.  Psycho on the other hand, well, in his opinion it was worth throwing her out over. 

Now I have also been told by The Ex about a new fad.  Whether it is or not I’m not sure because I know nothing about this, and in my opinion it sounds very strange.  Some girl he works with has apparently had her eyebrows shaved off, and then tattooed back on.  And another girl he works with was apparently considering it.  I think it looks strange when people draw their eyebrows back on with pencil.  I know it is easy to accidentally over-pluck, but drawn on eyebrows look totally naff.  I suspect tattooed on eyebrows look no better?  And they’ll be permanent too.  Strange.