Charity

I’ve always been a thrifty kind of person.  I hate the kind of insecurity that comes from having literally no money, and I have been there so I know what I’m talking about.  Anyway, bearing in mind that The Child and I are on the verge of being in a position where literally every penny shall count, I don’t consider myself in a position to give much to charity.  I know The Ex hands spare change to the child to put in various donation boxes, and I’ll buy the odd breast cancer pin or keyring there.  I do like to do a bit, even if it is very little.  But I’m not in a position to give monthly donations to whichever charity happens to knock on my door first.  And I don’t appreciate people coming to my door to ask.  I am one of those people who will hurry past them in town with my face to the ground.  And I always (well almost always) feel guilty for not being better off and able to give money.

Anyway, while I generally respect charities and the work they do, I actually felt angry yesterday when someone came to my door asking me to sign up to give monthly donations.  It’s not so much that he came to the door, it had more to do with the not taking no for an answer.  And I’m really not kidding.  Most people will back off as soon as I mention my situation.  This guy didn’t.  I practically had to tell him we’re potentially on the verge of being homeless unless I can hang onto every spare penny we have coming our way.  Actually, I did do that.  And he still wouldn’t back off.  At first I felt the usual guilt (I have such a complex), and then I just felt angry.  I managed to keep my cool, but it’s really not fair.  I said no, and I was polite about it.  Admittedly, in the grand scheme of things eight pounds a month isn’t much, but for The Child and me it could very soon make a difference.  I’ve already cut out most non-essentials in the hope of saving money for when our LHA is reduced.  But this guy was having none of it.  I eventually managed to get rid of him by putting my foot down, but I am not in a position to back down here.  Depressingly enough I actually can’t afford it.  And I am being honest when I say if I could afford it I would.  Well, I’d be more inclined to anyway if I wasn’t pressured into it.  But there’s the thing, most decent people would give if they could afford to without needing to be browbeaten into doing so.  At least I hope they would.  Or maybe I’m being too naive and optimistic again.  Hmm.