The Situation continues. In fact it is fast spiralling out of my control. Last night I think I must have taken all leave of my senses. Yet, I don’t feel as bad as I should I don’t think. Well, I feel kind of bad, but not for the reasons that I should. Though I do sort of feel guilty. A bit. A lot at times actually. It just doesn’t pray on me as much as other stuff I guess. Hmm. And to be fair, The Situation could be a lot worse. I just don’t know what I’m going to do. I know what I should do, but it doesn’t correlate with what I want to happen. Of course, what I want to happen probably won’t happen at all. Hmm. Why can’t life be more simple? Why can’t things work out better? Perhaps I’ll feel differently about all this one day. I hope so anyway, because this veering between happiness and despair is messing my head up a little. Well, the mind messing up could actually have another cause, and maybe The Situation is a result of the mind messing up. And now I’m pretty sure I’m not even making sense. Grrr. It can’t carry on like this for long though. It really can’t. I’ll go insane if it does. And I really don’t want that to happen.
On a positive, I have been in a bizarrely good mood most of the day. And I also found some boots at long last! The search for replacement boots is now over. And they weren’t that expensive either, thanks to a sale. So, some good happened today. And more might I suppose. I just wish The Situation would come to a conclusion of sorts. And I know I could bring it to a conclusion myself, by putting an end to it. But I’m still hoping for the outcome I want. It might happen. It probably won’t but it might. And that’s how sane, and relatively intelligentish women are lost I guess. Or maybe I’m actually incredibly dim. Either way, I am such an idiot. Grrr. Yet I shall carry on for now, hoping for the best. I am definitely insane.
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