Tuesday, 22 November 2011

Are High Hopes Dangerous?

It seems to have always been the case that if I get my hopes up about something it always goes wrong.  I am therefore very wary of the fact that I am feeling very positive about the prospect of actually getting somewhere with the counselling idea.  Now, to explain a bit, when I was very messed up in my teens I think I could really have benefitted from some counselling.  There are times I think I could benefit from it now to be honest.  But anyway, I kind of went to uni with the idea that I might like to pursue a career in counselling.  Then I moved in with The Ex and got pregnant, and any ideas I had had previously were forgotten or pushed aside as stupid and undoable.  Now, having been on income support for nearly four years, I have finally been put in touch with people who might actually be able to help me pursue this course after all.  And I have been banging on about the counselling to the Jobcentre for years, so I am a little annoyed.  Of course, I may do this and find that the first few people I spoke to at the Jobcentre were right and that there are no job prospects here for counsellors.  Of course, I would be prepared to move away from here for a job that I might actually enjoy.  I want to help people who are suffering in the way I suffered when I was a teenager.  I am really hoping I can do this.  Of course it will require me to do a course, and some volunteer work.  I might have to give all that up so that I can be a waitress or something.  And I am really worried that that is what will happen.  But surely I deserve something to go right for me for a change?  And I need something to cheer me up after the disaster that was The Situation.  Roll on January and my counselling course.  Assuming that I am able to do it of course.

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