The Ex

Well, things with The Ex are becoming interesting.  Possibly.  We’ve been arguing a fair bit again lately, but today I think I might have just got to the bottom of what his problem is.  And despite some of the things he says, I don’t think it’s my parenting skills.  Today’s nugget was “You always put the chores before The Child!”  Ok, he didn’t actually call her the child, but you get the picture.  Now how he would know if I ever put any chores before The Child I wouldn’t know, but in any case, I won’t let it get to me because we both know it’s not true.  But he says these things every time we argue, and at times it’s almost as though we’re still together.  It reminds me of the constant criticisms, and how no matter what I did it was never right.  So I’m not perfect, but I don’t think I’m really as awful as he made out.  And if he really thought that, then he wouldn’t have the problem he currently has.  And because of a text he sent me earlier I can conclude the real problem is that he knows I regret getting together with him in the first place.  Now I haven’t actually said this to him in so many words, but I guess he’s picked up enough hints to have worked it out.  Silly me for giving myself away I suppose.  I need to get better at hiding the real me again i think.  Hmm. 

I know I can be a nightmare, but there are plenty of people out there who are worse parents than me.  I just wish he wouldn’t pick on something I am very sensitive about.  And I’m only sensitive about it because I do actually think I’m a rubbish mother.  The silly thing is, before The Child was born I actually thought everything would be ok.  I know deep down I kind of knew it wouldn’t be, but I really hoped it would.

Now I just need to find out what I really want from life, and how I might go about achieving it.  I really have no idea though.