Well, on Monday The Child starts school full time. In a way it will be a huge relief. Two and a half hours just isn’t long enough to get much done, especially when you deduct the twenty minutes devoted to walking to school in order to pick her up. Having the bulk of the day in order to get things done will be nice, but I shall miss her. It will be strange not being interrupted every few minutes, but nice. I’ll probably bawl my eyes out Monday morning. Bless her. She’s so grown up now.
She was at the hospital yesterday, and the appointment wasn’t cancelled! She was seen! And she’s being referred to a physiotherapist for exercises to strengthen the muscles. She doesn’t have any problems yet, but left on its own problems could develop so I’m glad we got her checked out. And the consultant wants to see her again in six months. I still hate hospitals though.
And so the change is almost complete. Once The Child has started full time, the job hunting can commence. I might give myself a week to adjust though. Or is that too generous? I suppose I can just see what’s going next week, and take it from there. I’ve never done this before though, so it’s a bit nerve-wracking. Hopefully I’ll find something bearable, and who knows, I might even make some friends. I could do with knowing a few more people around here. The Ex isn’t exactly ‘best buddy’ material.
I need to get out of my little bubble. It’ll do me good. And who knows, I might encounter more madness. I’m not sure if that would be good or bed though. Perhaps a bit of both? Then again, if I’m as crazy as I’m beginning to suspect I am, perhaps I can provide the madness.
Oh, and here’s a bit of madness. I’ve been stupid enough to broach the topic of The Past with The Ex. It wasn’t a particularly good idea. We ended up falling out again. I don’t really understand why it’s such a big deal for him. Maybe things aren’t as sorted between us as I thought? Anyway, I think that’s what started this whole awkward phase with him. It’s over a month since I first brought this up though, but it has been an on and off thing for a few weeks now. Perhaps I have too many questions. Or maybe he’s just super sensitive about it. Or maybe he’s not as over everything as me. I wish he’d just tell me the problem, then perhaps I wouldn’t be so tense around him. The tension thing will only exacerbate things of course. I’m not good to know when I’m being tense and stressy. Hmm. A few of my friends are being all nostalgic though, so it’s not just me. I guess it serves a purpose if something can be learned from the past, or if things can be put to rest. I’m holding so much baggage, I could do with some offloading I think. But it’s not so good when it just throws things in the present off kilter, with no obvious sign of anything being resolved. I need to do a serious case of moving on. A new job, new friends (while staying in touch with the old ones too of course), that’s what I need I think. I hope. And I hope I get it sorted soon. So, down the jobcentre Monday? Or leave it a week? Decisions. Not my strong point. Hmm. And I really need to stop wittering on about the same things over and over. Oh well.
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