Nostalgia

I think the nostalgia bug might be going round.  At first, I thought my problem was merely due to The Child starting school and it being a major turning point in my life.  However, I think it’s hit a few other people too, hence the high school reunion thing.  I’m not going to go I don’t think.  Unless my friends go.  And I can get a babysitter.  But an overnight stay in Leeds wouldn’t be particularly doable for me right now I don’t think.  And that’s even if I decided I did want to go.  Anyway, I’ve been thinking of the ‘What Ifs’, and I’m not sure that’s a good thing.  And the whole nostalgia thing has proved disastrous for others.  Fortunately the worst that’s happened with me is that I started a huge row with The Ex.  And it wasn’t that huge a row really.  Not as big as the row we had about me not wanting him to undermine my parental decisions.  That was a fun afternoon.  But I digress.  It seems The Ex has a fair few regrets himself.  They mostly centre around trivial things he holds responsible for our break up.  He has totally ignored the fact that we weren’t compatible, and didn’t love each other.  Well, I don’t believe he still loved me by the time we split up anyway, no matter what he says.  I tried to convince him though that regardless of whether we stayed in Leeds or not, we would have split up eventually.  And regardless of whether he’d reined in that temper or not, we weren’t right for each other.  Of course, the temper didn’t help, and even made me scared of him on occasion, but it wasn’t our sole problem by any means.  Anyway, I’ve been doing my own head in thinking over things I shouldn’t dwell on.  It does no good.  I can’t change anything in the past.  But I do know what I would change if I could.  Whether things would work out better for me though I couldn’t say.  Perhaps the life path I took, and continue to take is what’s best for me.  I’m not happy though.  But if I’d not made such and such a decision, I might still have ended up miserable.  Who knows.